Well, it’s that time of month. The time of month when I constantly feel like crap.
Yes, the full moon can be incredibly difficult for werewolves like me. So in the midst of my angst, I have decided to write you a blog post on a variety of things that I despise. Here we go:
1. Waiting
I’m terrible at that. The 20 minutes in the hall before CIE exams are torture for me. In fact, I couldn’t even wait till the actual full moon to post this entry.
2. Pplz who type layk dis
Guys, it was cool when we were 9. Now it’s just very unkewlz.
3. Girls who post pictures of themselves on social media websites and go “I’m so ugly”
I doubt this requires a sudden surge of genius, but if you think your picture is ugly, then you don’t post it online :)
Plus, if you really think it's an ugly picture, then you’re completely inconsiderate for subjecting the rest of us to that gruesome sight (which it probably isn’t).
Seriously, woman, pull yourself together!
Don't mind me. Just fishing for attention.
4. The sound of chairs scraping the floor
Now I consider myself a sufficiently tolerant person (which is evident from the fact that I have a blog called The PurposelessRants of Malak Mohamed), but the sound of chairs scraping the ground makes me want to pull my hair out, or rather, pull the hair of whoever’s scraped the chair against the floor out.
5. Mr. Examiner
I don’t know who Mr. Examiner is, but if he’s the same bloke that wrote our physics multiple choice paper, then I don’t like him one bit.
Mr. Examiner getting ready for the CIE May/June 2014 session.
6. Real Madrid (minus Carvajal)
I’d tell you what I don’t like about Real Madrid, but I don’t have all day year. I think I hate them more than the German national football team, which is saying something.
7. People who say that reading is uncool
To you, I say: YOU’RE UNCOOL!!!
If it's on a t-shirt, then that means it's true.
8. WHEN PEOPLE STEAL YOUR SHOES AT THE MASJID, COUGH COUGH COUGH!!!
9. People who spoil books , movies and TV shows
Do I need to elaborate?
10. When people say leviosa
Come on, guys. It’s leviosa, not leviosa.
11. When people put on 5 pounds of make up
I know it isn’t any of my business what you do to yourself, but you’re hiding your beautiful face under all that make up.
12. When I have to hide my powers because there are Muggles around
*Sigh*
13. When parents tell their kids to be more like other kids
Okay, this has happened a lot with me. I’ve been told to be like other kids, and other kids I know have been told to be like me. Now I can understand the former, but why would anyone in their right mind ask their kids to be likeMalak? Are other parents aware that Malak barely helps out at home, hardly ever sets foot in the kitchen, and has a room as messy as the Argentina number 10 himself?!
14. When people toot their car horns in the middle of traffic jams, when there is clearly no way for anyone else to go
Oh, you tooted your horn? That’s it… everyone out of the way! This guy tooted his horn! Clear the road!
Sorry, I forgot my pixie dust at home.
15. The smell of ammonia
*shudders* I hate testing for ions.
How my mental friend Fatima inhales it like it’s vanilla, I will never understand.
16. Writer’s block
I started writing this story a while back, but I’ve been having writer’s block for 2 years now. It’s as frustrating as Brazil’s match against Germany was last night!
17. The Sudanese government
Can I get an amen?
18. The Life Talk
The Life Talk (in capital letters) usually begins with someone asking you what subjects you’re taking, and ends with them asking what you want to do with your life. And when you’re like me and don’t know anything at all, it can sometimes actually end with a kick in said person’s shins (told you I was tolerant).
19. When people speak loudly at movies
Oh wait… that’s me :)
20. Chopsticks
Those things are impossible. I will forever believe that Chinese people have mad skills.
21. When you have to re-explain the joke
22. Ladies that shout at Taraweeh
You know how there are always those ladies who bring their annoying little children to the mosque for Taraweeh prayers? Well, the only people more annoying than them are the women who spend the entire time shouting at those women for bringing their kids. What is your purpose?
23. Haters on social media (particularly on ask.fm)
Those anons that basically live on making others feel bad deserve to have their heads used as footballs in a Germany match.
24. When people disregard your passions
Which in my opinion is one of the most hurtful things a person can ever do to you.
25. 502 Bad Gateway Errors
When I was trying to post this thing to blog.com, I kept getting 502 Bad Gateway Errors. And it ticked me off so bad, I decided it was worthy of being on this list. (That is, by the way, the reason for my transition to blogspot).
26. When people don’t appreciate your puns
Puns make the world go round.
27. When people call me ملك
Please, people. It’s Malic Acid. Get with the programme.
28. Cliffhangers
And there you have it! 28 things that make my skin crawl. Until the next time inspiration strikes, this is Malak Mohamed, signing off!
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